shopping with Asperger’s kids

Published November 1, 2009 by Nancy

Don’t.

As in: Don’t take Asperger kids shopping.

1. They don’t like crowds, noise, new sensations, and confusion.
2. They aren’t patient.
3. Most of them can’t sit still. They are either running around like a bull or curling up in a bored ball wailing to go home.
4. They can’t make decisions on the fly.

They can learn shopping when they’re older, when it’s their own shopping they’re doing.

In the meantime, you do the shopping and leave the kid at home.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Shop only where you can make returns. Plan and measure before you go. Take samples to compare for size. Buy, try on at home, and return the undesirables the next day.

2. Shop at used clothing stores (provided they have return or exchange). You can get more variety and more soft, comfortable textures in one shopping trip, which means a better chance of success. The low price tag leaves more money leftover to pay for those occupational therapy and social skills programs.

3. Shop online. This you can do together. Online clothing tends to be higher quality fabrics with better fit than Stuff-Mart clothes. Making decisions about online shopping helps your kid learn to shop. But make sure your kid learns never to make an online purchase without your consent!

Sometimes you just have to drag your kid to the store. Shoes cannot be bought without trying them on. Any Asperger kid will tell you there are a hundred possible points of discomfort in a single shoe.

Here are some ideas for making these shopping trips easier and faster:

1. Together, check the store’s website the day before. Try to identify exactly what you want and exactly what you need to avoid.

2. Talk about what happens in the shoe-buying process so that your kid knows what to expect. For example, make sure he/she knows that you will be trying on several shoes, not just one pair, and that you don’t just buy the first shoes you try. Explain how you have to check shoes carefully for comfort before buying them.

3. Bring a water bottle and something small but chewy to nibble on. Chewing and sucking on a water bottle helps keep your kids’ senses steady and calm. This will reduce outbursts and wailing/whining.

4. Bring only one kid at a time.

5. Get some quick exercise before leaving the house. Bouncing, running, wrestling — anything to get the senses awake and alert. If possible, walk to the store.

6. Limit your shopping to two stores. If you don’t find shoes at either store, you’ll try again next week.

7. End on a high note. Like an ice cream cone.