Making Sense of Our SensesTIPS, IDEAS, AND EVERYTHING

life after Asperger’s

Published August 15, 2009 by Nancy

We’re not really supposed to talk about this.

Yet with so many Asperger (and ADHD) kids doing neurofeedback now and eliminating their neurological difficulties, we end up at a place that hasn’t been defined yet.

Post-Asperger syndrome.

Or Post-ADHD. Post-Tourette’s.

What happens when you remove the Aspergerism from a person who has been Asperger since forever?

Here’s what we’ve discovered:

  1. It doesn’t suck. That is, it doesn’t suck the personality right out of you. Personality remains. Identify remains. You are still you. You feel like you, only it doesn’t suck. It’s a happy thing.
  2. You built a personal infrastructure around your Asperger difficulties. Think social habits, sensory habits, ways of thinking and behaving. Some are part of Aspergerism, and some are accommodations and byproducts. These tend to linger.
  3. Habits and ways of living/thinking have to be unlearned. It takes a while. Expect a lot of quiet surprises. Little omigod moments when you realize you don’t hate this , or you aren’t afraid of this, or you don’t need this anymore.
  4. Some aspects of Aspergerism allowed you to be <ahem> self-centered. Or at least what other people consider self-centered. Time’s up now. There are no more Get Out of Jail Free cards. With the neurological difficulties gone, you have no excuse. Do Unto Others.

Here are some thoughts for parents of post-Asperger kids;

  1. Remember that each age has its own issues and hormones. Post-Asperger kids will have these as well as any post-Asperger issues. Remember that NT teens can be extremely annoying even without Asperger’s.
  2. Social skills and concepts that they didn’t learn while they were seeing through the cloud of Aspergerism they can learn now. So find good books on social skills. Something with a title like “What Did Everybody Else Learn While I Was Trying to Figure Out Why The World Was Yelling At Me”. Look for teaching moments.
  3. When they fall back into old patterns, remind them that they don’t need those habits anymore and that the world now expects more of them.

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