museum meltdown

Published February 13, 2009 by Nancy

Museums seems like a no-brainer for Asperger and PDD kids.

Golly, all those buttons to push, levers to pull, things to see and do!

All those lights. All those sounds. All those colours.

All that stimulation.

I wonder how many other SPD kids get “the museum meltdown.”

We have learned to avoid museums like liver and onions. Sure, everything is fine for the first hour. Then gradually, the storm builds. A little more running around, a little more franticness. Then kaboom, lightning, thunder, gale force winds!

Trying to interfere doesn’t work. It’s like trying to catch a tornado in a fish net. The barometer of his expectations has hit the stratosphere. No button is good enough, no exhibit works the way he wants it to, the other kids are in the way, can we go back, can we go forward, I don’t want to do this now, I just want to hog this display for the next half hour and the other kids can just rot waiting in line, and no I don’t want to share, can you stop bugging me??

Other parents start to stare.

And we have to physically pick him up and get him out.

We have tried mouth tools, but you aren’t allowed to eat in a museum. We have tried drawing him away to the cafeteria, but easier said than done.

I don’t know what the solution is. But we need to figure it out soon.

Like, in two hours.

We are heading to Ottawa this weekend for Winterlude. Once we’ve skated the canal a few times (it’s durn cold out there now), the kids will be ready to do something indoors.

And there’s a great science museum.

[shudder]

The last time we were at a science museum was Easter. Let’s just say it wasn’t a stellar moment.

But it was exactly when we began our six months of intensive neurofeedback.

We’ve seen great results from neurofeedback. Hope springs eternal.

Is it possible that neurofeedback drove a stake into the heart of the museum meltdown?

We’ll find out…

piano lessons

Published February 8, 2009 by Nancy

When S was nine and having difficulty at school, we took him back to the OT. His handwriting was the issue. He couldn’t grip the pencil properly, so he couldn’t write very clearly.

Her response: It was more or less too late to fix his pencil grip. What he needed now was thicker pencils (easier to grip) and in time, a keyboard.

In the meantime, we should give him as much hand and finger exercise as we could, including small weights when he used the computer.

Okay. So we could do that. But then I asked:

He’s been taking piano lessons since he was four and playing lots every day. How can he have weak hand muscle tone if he plays so much?

Her response: If it hadn’t been for the piano lessons, he might not be able to grip the pencil at all.

I left that meeting a much bigger believer in piano lessons.

But not just because it’s good for sensory issues and muscle tone in the hands. Piano playing does far more for sensory issues kids than finger dexterity.

Started at an early age, piano lessons lay down miles of track inside the brain. Good track. Useful track.

Think about it. To play music you have to do all of the following — AT THE SAME TIME:

• coordinate your right and left hand to do different intricate tasks at the same time
• coordinate these actions by sound so that they fit together and follow the rhythm
• make the ear hear the rhythm and signal the hands follow it
• read the music with the eyes and send those messages to the two hands

So left brain, right brain, hands, plus eyes and ears are all working together on a single task. The task exists in space (keyboard, music book, right and left side) and time (counting, rhythm). It gets repeated several times every day. Presto — a vertical yarnball of nerve networks.

These yarnballs are cross-brain networks. As the child progresses in music, these cross-brain networks become stronger, and messages flow between them more and more quickly.

And not just for music cross-brain networks — but for all cross-brain networks. Once you have ‘em, your brain can use ‘em for anything. For example, math word problems require using both sides of the brain at once to apply analytical, reading, synthesizing, calculating, and imagining skills to solving the problem. Kids who have years of music training find word problems easy.

No surprise.

So how do you get a SPD kid to practice every day?

You don’t. You start by calling it “playing” the piano, instead of “practising” the piano. Then you get your kid to play the piano every day.

Set aside exactly the same time every day for practice, so that it becomes part of the day’s routine, like brushing teeth. Mornings are good, since the brain is most alert right after breakfast. The later in the day, the more tired the brain.

Find a piano teacher who likes fun music as well as classical music. Many kids like classical music because it’s predictable, but it’s good for them to experiment with modern rhythms.

Avoid exams and written theory. Just work on repertoire and a comfortable daily routine.

Finally, try not to avoid recitals. If they start early enough, kids learn to perform in front of others before they know about nerves or stage fright. This helps give them confidence.

progress

Published February 4, 2009 by Nancy

The drama over our nonfunctional washing machine appears to have drawn to a close.

Taking video of said washer in action and threatening to put it up on YouTube did the trick.

Keep in mind that nothing short of that did.

Anyway, they hauled away the washer this past weekend. I am supposed to get a cheque in the mail sometime soon.

What’s most interesting about this whole episode isn’t the near-disaster state of affairs at Sears. Nor the shoddy offshore quality of the new line of washers.

It was our response.

Number one: We didn’t take them to a lawyer.

We took them to the Internet. Faster, cheaper, and it lasts forever. Anybody can do it. Nobody has to quiver before the might of a big company anymore.

Number two: We didn’t buy a new washer to replace this one.

Over the past few weeks, we discovered that we don’t need one. Nobody needs one.

There are these places called “laundromats,” and there’s one lovely clean one right around the corner from our house. They have double-, triple-, and sex-tuple sized washers that do the job in 20 minutes.

20 minutes to do five loads of laundry. In two washers.

At home, we hang up some of it, and put the rest in our double-size dryer, and presto, a week’s laundry done within an hour.

No more Saturdays spent waiting for a 60-minute cycle to end.

How much water is this method saving? How much electricity? And how much of our valuable time?

In the old days (and in many poor countries today), women used to gather by the river to wash clothes together. It was a social time. Laundromats are good for that too.

Our culture has been told that we need labour-saving appliances in our homes. But here is a middle-class family of four going back to the old way. It makes more sense.

Number three: Long-term relationships are worth more than big names.

We decided to get a replacement washer from a used appliance shop that sold us our first washer, dryer, fridge, and stove. Andre still works there. In fact, he fixed our freezer and old dryer a couple of times. We know him well.

That is why we bought from him.

The washer is a good five years old, but in good shape and very clean. Andre gives a one-year guarantee, same as the big shops. Except that he’s not going to screw us around or wait till we show him the YouTube video. We have a relationship with him. It’s valuable to him, and it’s valuable to us.

policy

Published February 1, 2009 by Nancy

At the store, I demanded a refund for my nonfunctioning washer. It was still under warranty.

The “customer service” clerk hardly looked up. She said that the warranty was good just for repairs.

I demanded a refund because the repairs had not worked.

She said, “I’m sorry, that’s our policy.”

What does it mean when a “customer service” clerk says “that’s our policy”?

It means: Go away.

It means: I am not paid to care.

It means: I hate this job.

Seth Godin would say it’s because they have no ownership of the problem and no relationship with the customer.

No relationship = no customer.

I replied to her: “It’s my policy not to accept someone telling me it’s their policy.”

We stood staring stupidly at each other.

solving tantrums

Published February 1, 2009 by Nancy

Tantrums. Wild, out of control, unprovoked, unexplainable. They quickly work up to hyperventilating, which leads to even wilder out-of-control behaviour.

Toddlers and preschoolers with sensory issues can’t deal with all the sensory distress they put up with in a day. They can’t filter it all out. It’s like being stuck with pins all day.

I’m not sure what it was that prompted me one day to approach him with crackers. He was huddled, terrified and shrieking, in his bed. I wasn’t even sure he would recognize them or be able to hold them, let alone eat them.

But he took them, like a drowning person reaching for a buoyline. I watched him munch, almost frantically, his eyes still wide, his breathing harsh.

By the end of the second cracker, he had calmed down quite a bit. Enough for him to start regaining control.

There is a lesson here. For sensory kids, too much of the wrong sensation can push them over the edge. Then the wildness of their own reaction becomes even more to handle, which starts to snowball.

But the right sensation can right them again.

Here are some suggestions. But keep in mind: these vary from kid to kid.

1. Crunchy or chewy foods: The rhythmic chewing works the jaw muscles, which stimulate the inner ear, and also stimulates the mouth’s senses of taste, texture, and smell. By simultaneously stimulating many senses at once, these handy mouth tools short-circuit sensory overload.

2. Sucking from a straw: Similarly to the crunching and chewing foods, sucking short-circuits sensory overload, and the rhythmic suck-and-swallow calms all the senses.

3. Music: 1950s rock ‘n roll music is very stimulating. The strong rhythm and energetic sound can cut through a sensory overload tantrum. Once the kid is shocked out of the tantrum, provide something to drink.

4. Wrestling: A full-body workout with a parent may allow the kid to work out the frustration. Be aware that the kid must give permission first; otherwise, she may think she is being attacked. A milder alternative is any kind of rhythmic movement, such as patting the shoulder, rocking, moving the hands up and down, or moving the legs in a gentle flutter-kick pattern.